cotton candy

"Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, & when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." -Anais Nin

Entranced inside a mist near the seaside

Hypnotized by the regal splendor of it all

The perfumed breeze, the buzzing bees, the tantalizing sun

He was innate, born from  a child's laughter

His eyes were a psychotropic whimsy

Pools of clear blue

Distant yet almost too close

I was annoyed when he cared

Yet entranced when he fell silent

If I could rewind time I would paint a different picture

Him & I would forget about the world

Our minds like a tangle of seaweed, lost within each other

Forgetting the mercilessness of mankind

Painting rainbows, falling into rabbit holes

We wouldn’t care about the ticking clocks that passed us by

Because at that moment, nothing else would matter

For it would just be us

Memoryhouse

what is a home?

s i l e n t

I lay at night staring at the sky, trying to remember the words he spoke
Trying to find shapes and words in the stars
But there is nothing, all is silent
Not a single word is spoken
Sound ceases to exist, it has disappeared from my life entirely
Almost like you

So I stare at the blinding flames, the flickering candles
I cant sleep tonight

But not all is bad
Everything tastes of lilies today
The sweet serenade like a spoonful of sugar to my bitter heart
Making me momentarily forget these feelings of loss and hurt
The shadows are too long these days, the conversations too short
I've been walking backwards, over the cracks in the pavement
Over the cracks of my weak and overly-hopeful heart

I am running out of ink, running out of thoughts and dreams
The more I try to catch up, the farther he gets away from me
Waiting for the mail that never comes, while the rain continues to pour
Waiting for something that will never come
Until then, all remains quiet
While you remain silent

I dont sleep, I walk at night

seams

I remember things in snapshots
I remember the torn seams and threads coming out

It worries me how fast things unravel

You are both separate and intact

The distance we have sewn together is so thin, we must realize that things come apart on their own

Everything has its own texture and hue of colour

I dream of having unbroken thread between my fingers

Though at times I wish to undo what I have made or said

Sometimes I just want recognition instead of natural silence

I want voices to chime in my ears, even when the snow falls and I refuse to listen

Those others I have dreamed of loving elsewhere, I miss only what they haven't said

s n e a k i n g o u t

s e c r e t s

Secrets are the only real magic, they are the only things worth keeping. What one sees while the rest blink their eyes is magic. Secrets are the short moments of silence when dust falls through the pauses in your favorite verse. Sometimes of my secrets are like black smoke that seep out of my leather coin bag. All the golden money in the world is nothing compared to my silver secrets.

The Art of Forgetting

When she finds something to be unbearable, she simply chooses to forget it. That is her greatest power. She edits her memories that are imbued with the light of carefree summers. She finds it easy to cut people out of her life, sewing the crooked edges with precision so they would hardly be missed.

Cults

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on to the next one- songs of -A N G S T-

     The fire is diminishing. I am dwindling in early hours, writing about the memories (they flew passed me) with frantic & hurried fingers. I dreamed of ardency, now all I have are the echos of furtive footsteps. They are the most disparaging.

Sir Bowtie,
You say I stole today, well you stole tonight. You were angered when I ignored you at school, but I was just avoiding confrontation. I was right to tell you what I did all those afternoons ago, saying what deep down you already knew to be true.